Sunday, December 18, 2011

Broken Hearts will be Healed

As I type, I'm almost at a loss for words. I have so much to say, but I'm not sure what to say, and I'm not sure it's what people want to hear. During this difficult time, I'm just thankful for the family and friends that are willing to say an extra prayer for and are willing to just sit with me when I can do doing nothing but cry. Those are things I need the most right now, because there are no words that make me feel better and nothing takes away the pain. I find comfort in knowing that God's grace is sufficient, and that he promised to get me through this, and I know he will.
     I never thought this would happen to me, to my family. I never thought that I would miscarry, and go through the grief and the pain that comes with something like this. My heart always went out to those who had miscarried, but I never knew what they were going through or how they felt. Now that I do, I'm thankful I prayed extra hard for them, I'm thankful that I offered them a shoulder to lean on even though I could not make them feel better.
  The physical pain is awful, I hurt, my stomach cramps, my head hurts from all the crying, and I'm just downright tired. There's more to it, but it gets a little personal. For me, the worst part is the emotional pain. My heart hurts, it literally aches and feels broken and empty. I wasn't very far along, but even my stomach feels empty. There once was a baby there, it was growing and becoming into this wonderful thing, and now it's gone. Just gone. No definite reason why, just gone. It took all I could do no to break down while the tech finished up the sonogram. It was awful, there on screen was our little baby. Very tiny, but very there. It was so hard to hear I'm so sorry, but there's no heartbeat". My eyes were seeing this baby, but my hears were hearing it's gone. Finally, after what felt like forever, I was able to get to Chris, the first thing he did was hug me, tell me that it was going to be ok, and that God does all things well. At that moment, I knew things were going to be ok, but I still was having a hard time getting it together. I had to though, I had to face the doctor, I had to face all the happy pregnant women, and the new parents with they bundles of joy in the waiting room. I had to get out of that place. Thankfully, the staff was great, my nurse took me the back way to the room, and the doctor was amazing. Very compassionate, but professional. She knew nothing she was going to say was going to make it better, but she went over the options we had, and told me what was normal, what was not, and how long we needed to wait before we begin to try again for another baby. She assured me I did nothing wrong, that something was wrong with the baby, like a chromosome missing or something like that, that caused me to miscarry. I had to schedule another appointment for Monday to make sure everything is going like it should, and the I will be clear from there care until further notice. I could not get out of that place any faster. The elevator ride felt like an eternity, and when we got to the car, I knew our next move was to make the phone calls to inform our family and closet friends. I couldn't do it, thankfully my husband was able to make those calls for me. Each time he said, "Jennifer miscarried" the tears fell. I just couldn't stop them. I just couldn't. It was awful. I felt like I was in a dream, and I was praying I would wake up. 
I knew I needed time to cope with what had happened and I needed time to get myself together before I came. After all, my beautiful, healthy wonderful two year old was waiting for me. She needs me, she needs a healthy, put together mother, who takes care of her despite the circumstances. I can't just let her go, because we lost our baby. She's still my alive and well baby, and in no way am I willing to take that for granted, so I had to get myself together. Retail Therapy....that was my "remedy". Didn't really buy too much, but just the distraction was worth it. Chris did let me get my hair cut colored, which I love. It helped the most. Just being in that chair letting someone else pamper me, made me feel so much better. After hours of walking around the store and getting my hair done, I was ready. I was ready to see my family, my daughter, and just to be around those closet to me. 
I did well for the rest of the afternoon, but when the night time hit, I felt like I had been run over by a truck. It was sinking in, there was nothing more to keep me busy, I had finally posted it to my Facebook, so I didn't want to be on there, when I watched tv it was like staring into space, cleaning didn't help either. All I could do was cry. I was home, I was home with my family, minus one. Things were different and never again were they going to be the same. My time was consumed with a baby and Maddison. What were going to decorate the nursery with, what were we going to name our baby, how can we explain to Maddison she's going to be a big sister. I took care of Maddison, the everyday things it takes to make sure she's happy and cared for and then of course the extra loving that this momma loves to give. Now, I feel kind of empty and lost. Maddison is still here, and I still love her and take the time with her because she deserves it, but I'm not sure how to tell her there's no baby. Thankfully, she hasn't asked or said anything, but I'm waiting, and I know it's going to be difficult, but it's ok. As a family, we will get through, and one day, if it's the Lord's will, she will be a big sister.
Someone said to me, sometimes we go through these things, so that way one day we can help someone else who is where we are now. I don't know the reason this has happened, and I feel all kinds of emotions about it, but I know the One who knows the reason, and I fully trust Him with my life, and I know that he does things that are to my benefit. I think I'm finally coming to terms with this miscarriage. I'm realizing, that my life will go on, things will be ok, and though they may be difficult, this too shall pass. I still have my moments, but I'm determined to get past this. It will not consume me, and take over my life and keep me from doing what I love and taking care of my family. I'm leaning of them and God, and I know I will get through this. I don't know when the time will be, but when God says the time is right, we will try for another baby. I'm scared to death that I could miscarry again, but it all goes back to God knows best. He holds the future, and as long as we follow Him and do things according to His will, everything will be ok. He's never let me down, and I know He won't. Once again, even though I'm heartbroken, I'm looking for the blessing. My wanting for another baby, is still there, but I know, when the time is right, I'll know it. 
Thank you for all the prayers, they are greatly appreciated, and we still need them. I know my broken heart won't be healed over night, that it takes time. *Romans 8:28*

Monday, December 12, 2011

Those I Miss!

With Christmas coming quickly, I've been thinking a lot about my Granny Jackie and Papa Kelley. They have passed on, but I can remember exactly how I felt having Christmas for the first time without them. It's heartbreaking and sad, and would love nothing more but for them to be here.
      Granny Jackie was a lady I looked up too. She was strong willed and she was one of my best friends. She was the one who after I was born took my sleeper off to make sure I had the "Gockley" toes. She always "believed" me when I said I was starving because my momma never fed me, and sat me down in the middle of the table with a tub of butter! (yuck!!! I hope I didn't eat a lot of it!) Lol. Her house was always clean and she always had a candy dish on the coffee table with our favorite candy in it. She would always fuss with Papa Robert and never let him forget that he was an awful snorer. Granny loved to fish! Loved to fish! You could pretty much guarantee she was fishing if she wasn't home. Most of my childhood memories are with her and Papa in St. Augstine fishing. They had a house boat, and every other weekend, I was on that boat with them fishing the days away. We would sit out on the dock for hours just fishing. I remember trying to catch the little bitty crabs, and I even caught a blow fish one time. I can remember walking up to the showers about dusk every afternoon to get ready for bed. On the way to the boat, we would always stop at this one particular store and get the few groceries we would need, and a gallon of tea. It was the best tea, I ever had. On the way home, we always stopped at the ice cream shop and would get pistachio ice cream. I remember it being such a pretty green color. Lol. Those were the best times! When we weren't fishing together, you could find us on Granny's bed watching tv doing word circles. She always had a ton of those books, and would always give me one to do with her. She had tons of shoes, jewelry and was very set and particular in her ways. She loved us grand kids, and I could always count on her. She loved her out door swing where she would sit and do more word circles.  She was hot headed at times, but very loving, and she taught me a lot of things. I miss that woman more than I can say. I wish she had been here to see me graduate and get married. I wish she was here to spoil Maddison rotten and watch her grow just like she did me. Sometimes I just wish I could go to her house to find her laying on the bed to just get away and enjoy some quiet time with her. She was grounded and strong and I hope that I have many of wonderful qualities.
      Papa Kelley, was the Papa with all the animals when we were growing up. I mostly remember helping him feed and tend to the rabbits! He had tons of them! He was very patient, he hardly got frustrated, and always gave us what we wanted. He would take us to the store and tell us, get what you want, and would never think twice about it. I remember when we spent on weekend with him when Anthony was real little. I heard Papa tell my mom that Anthony was good as gold....but when we got in the car, I was like momma, Anthony did nothing but cry the entire weekend! Lol. I will never forget the smell of the certain cigarettes that he smoke or going shopping for food at Hitchcocks on the way to his house. He never made us buy the "good" food, but would let us have cookies for breakfast if that's what we wanted. I'll never forget that little green truck he drove, and every time I see one like his, I automatically think of him. He was always there for me. He would help me in whatever way he would, and would give me whatever I needed. I didn't like when he moved to Tenn for the time, he was too far away, and I missed him a lot. Thankfully he moved back! :) I'm thankful that he was at my wedding and that he was here to meet Maddison. There's a picture I have, the last one that I took of Papa and Maddison together, and it is one of my many treasures. I love that picture, and I'm so glad I will have it for years to come. He was a great man, someone who was humorous and laughed at most things. Someone who got along with my Grandmother, even though they were divorced, and someone who changed my life.
  Both of these people are dearly missed. I would love for both of them to be here now and for Christmas, I would love for them to be in home, to be a part of my ever growing family, but the memories that we made when they were here, keep them alive, and I'm thankful and I'm lucky to have had such great grandparents like them. Our Christmases will never be the same without them.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

What a Day!

What a day it has been! I have had the worst headache and have spent the day holding the couch day sleeping. I missed church. :/ Thankfully, though, my in laws took Maddison to church and kept for her the day so I could rest. I don't know where this headache came from, but I wish it would go away. Nothing I do is making it better. I just hope there's nothing more to it, and that I manage not to get sick this year.

Anyways, it was nice having the rest, and now I ready to begin the week. I have spent most of the past week cleaning and cleaning. There's just so much to be done, because I don't do it on a regular basis, but that has changed. I have learned my lesson. All the going though, has helped me to sleep much better. So far everything with this pregnancy is going well. My worst symptom is being tired...ALL the time! I remember feeling the same way with Maddison, but I don't remember it being this bad. Of course, I wasn't having to keep up with a 2 year old at the time either. I'm just really trying to balance getting everything done and getting plenty of rest. I try to do something, then take a break and then begin again. It takes me longer, but it's working. I'm so excited about my appt on the 27th. I cannot wait! I can't wait to see the baby, and see the heart beat, and to get a more accurate due date. All of that makes everything sooo real, and it just can't get here fast enough!
On top of the excitement for our first baby appt, we have all the greatness of Christmas! I'm so excited, to take Maddison to church on Christmas, cook my first Christmas dinner and enjoy the time with my family and I can't wait til Maddison gets her gifts! I'm really enjoying because next year it will be different! It won't just be three of us, and I'm so blessed to have a growing family, but I am also loving every minute with just the three of us. Things will never be the same, but they will be just as wonderful!
I hope that those around me are enjoying this time of year, that they're enjoying their families and making the best of it! I'm not stressing over the best gifts or what I can or can't buy, I'm just thankful for what I have to give and those I have to give too! The time spent with my family makes it the best time I could ask for!

Saturday, November 26, 2011

The Announcement has been Made!

   The announcement has been made! In 2012 we will be welcoming another member to our family! I can't tell you how excited I am, and how good God has been to me and my family! Our decision to have another baby, was not made lightly. We went back and forth several times. Chris and I talked, talked and talked about everything you can think that would impact having another baby. At times, we were certain the time was right, then sometimes, we felt we should wait longer. So, we waited, and waited some more. I had baby fever like none other, babies were coming into the world all around me, but I wanted to be sure I wanted a baby for me, and for my family and that the time was right, not just because everyone else was having babies. It was tough to tell myself no, but I did, and I'm glad for it too. Finally in August, we decided it was time to begin the journey to having a baby. I was ecstatic. The doctor told us it usually takes couples 8 months to get pregnant. It was hard to swallow that tidbit of info, but I am impatient. I just started praying. I just asked that when the time was right, that God would bless us with a baby, and that it would be His will for our life. At this time, our family and most of our friends didn't know we were trying for a baby. I did mention it to some of my prayer warrior friends, to get some prayers going to for us. It was hard keeping a secret. People kept asking and telling us we needed another one, and all we could say, was not yet. We were trying to patiently wait on God. Even though, we had made the decision, Chris still wasn't completely sure about it. Then, about two weeks before we found we were pregnant, he told me he was ready to have a baby. I can't tell you how it felt to hear those words come from him. I cried... I loved. At that moment, we both new the time was right, and now were just waiting on God. 
    Finally, after getting nauseous every evening at the same time, and just being completed exhausted, we found out on Monday Nov. 21 that we were expecting our second baby. I was completely surprised, because I sure didn't think I was pregnant...despite the symptoms I was feeling. I hadn't given up on getting pregnant, but I had decided to not let it take over my every thought, so I was surprised! Chris and I were super happy, and we couldn't wait to share the news. Of course, I texted a couple of my closet friends to share the news, but we had decided to wait until Christmas. Well, by Wednesday, we couldn't wait any longer, and revealed out news to Chris's family, and the church. On Thursday after telling my parents, we announced to the world of Facebook. Waiting on God's timing, makes everything right. Our preference is a boy, but as long as it's God's will and the baby is happy and healthy, we don't care. We are so in love with this new baby, and it's not very big at all. :) Now my prayers are still for God's will, and that we will have a great pregnancy along with a great labor and delivery day.  So far things are going well, I get nauseous after eating, but so far, we're good on the morning sickness. Thankfully my sleeping has returned and I'm only craving popcorn. I have been thirstier than ever, so hydrating on water has become my thing, but I am loving every minute of it! 
     The goal of my blog now, is to continue to give my two cents on everything, but to also document how we're doing with the pregnancy, how we're adjusting and how Maddison is doing with the big sister thing. Right now, she doesn't really understand, but it's still early, and we're telling her, she's going to be a big sister. She will tell you that the baby is in mommy's tummy, and it's the sweetest thing. I can't wait til the day my children meet each other for the first time. I know Maddison it going to love her sibling like there's no tomorrow, and I know she's going to be a big help. She's a wonderful little girl and I think a baby brother or sister is just what she needs! 
      I am loving life and everything that goes with it. I really should be working on my Christmas decorations...because, you can't see my floor because of everything I have, but there's so much stuff, that I'm a little overwhelmed and have no idea where to begin. It will be a job I tackle after I put Maddion down for the night. Please continue to pray for us, as we open a new chapter to our lives, and I be sure to pray for you too. :) (As a little side note, we've decided to not reveal the name/names we have picked out for the baby, until we know the sex, and are for sure what we want to name him/her. Not sure when we'll tell, but I'll be sure everyone knows. We are open to suggestions though. :) 
      Have a wonderful night, and Gooo Gators! :)

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Sorry for the Delay

    It has been a long, long time since I have blogged. Mostly, just because I haven't taken the time to sit down and do it. I don't know why either, I really enjoy blogging. So, here we are, one day away from Thanksgiving. I cannot believe that Nov 2011 is almost over. This year has just flown by. Things are so fast paced, and time just doesn't stop. I'm glad that I've taken the time to enjoy Maddison at a young age, enjoy my family, and the things that are most important. Soon, everything will be changing and I will miss every day that I've had to be at home with Maddison and the one on one time that we've had. She's a special little girl, who grows and learns something new each day. It's crazy to think, she's not a baby anymore, she's a little girl. She's full of personality, stubborn and persistent, but very smart, and willing to do most anything. She loves her family, loves going to church, and is always a very happy person. I'm anxious to see the young lady that she is going to become, but I'm not rushing it, and I'm enjoying every minute of the stubbornness, the potty training, and all the oatmeal she loves to eat. I'm telling you, she can brighten anyone's day, and put a smile on every face. I love her, and wouldn't trade her for the world! :)
      With Thanksgiving tomorrow, and Christmas right around the corner, this is my favorite time of the year. I'm definitely loving it this year, because it has been exceptionally warm! I do not, I mean do not like the cold weather, so I'm perfectly happy! Everyone says, it just doesn't feel like Thanksgiving, or I wish it was thank you, I can eat just as much on a warm day as I can on a freezing cold day. Maddison can still play outside without freezing, I can open the windows, I'm wearing shorts and flip flops...and I'm loving it! :) I'm super excited about Christmas, it's on Sunday this year, which means we'll have church, but what better way to celebrate Christmas, than going to church? Maddison is at the age, she's going to love it too! She loves church, so church and presents on the same day, is going to make her a very happy little girl. I just wish things weren't so materialistic nowadays. I'm trying hard to show Maddison, that the gift of family, and the love that we feel is the all that we need, that gifts are not a necessity, and that you have to live within your means. For us, that means not a lot. Sometimes I feel bad, and I try to make stretch every penny make sure everyone has something, but Chris always reminds me, it's not about the gifts it's what you can do, and if just inviting everyone over, and having lunch is all you can do, then so be it. We're trying to fill stockings for everyone this's not going so well, but we have a back up plan, and our parents and grandparents have been sure to tell us, not to worry about them. Although, they will get a little something. :) I heard someone say, if you are stressed over the gifts you bought, or the debt you put yourself in to buy the gifts, then you can't really enjoy the time with your family. Sometimes, just a little homemade gift makes all the difference. For me personally, I want you to take the time to make me a hand made card, or ornament for my tree, something that is going to last me a long time. And really, I can't remember half of what I got for Christmas last year, and I know I've already given away some of things Maddison received. Sometimes, the gifts are overwhelming and you just get too much. Just remember, if you can't afford it, then don't. If someone gets mad because you showed up without a gift for them, shame of them. If you come to my house, I'm just glad you're there, and I promise not to be mad. Lol. Just go back to the basics, and enjoy what you have with the family you have with or without gifts. :) Christmas is so much more than gifts, and the true meaning of Christmas is what we should be focused on. Those of you with little children, if you teach them now that they get everything they want, they will always expect it, if you teach them they get what you can buy on your budget with what you have, they will be happy to get it. Remind them also, that there are some children who won't get anything.
     Anyways, I'm done with my little rant....I have to remind myself of that all the time as well. :) Things are going pretty well in the Crews household. Things are tough at times, and I tend to worry a little, but I know that God will supply all of our needs, and He has yet to let me down! I'm supposed to be cleaning, and getting the house ready for Christmas decorations, but I know there's more time to get it done. We've been facing a few decisions lately, and sometimes we feel like our heads are spinning, but we'll make it, and God will show us what we need to do. The rest of this year is going to be great, and I'm looking forward to closing out 2011 and opening 2012. I'm looking forward to some wonderful blessings, and I'm ready to see what is in store for us.

I hope you have a very wonderful and Happy Thanksgiving. be very thankful for all you have, enjoy the family time, and eat lots of good food! :) 

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Quiet Time

Whew, I am tired. It's been a busy, but good day. I am a bit frustrated though. I'm tired of companies and/or people dragging their feet and thinking they can take all the time they want. As a paying customer, I expect them to do everything they can to make me happy and make sure that everything is done they way it should be. As a customer, I will be sure to let others know about the company. I would think they would want me to say good things, to recommend people to them, and to let others know how satisfied I was. Ugh! We bought a dryer almost two weeks, and have yet to use it because there is something wrong with it. Finally after a week of continually being told that the tech would be here, he finally showed up. Then told us that in a day or so the company would call and we will probably be getting a different dryer. I'm sorry, but a day or two is not going to cut it. I want a dryer now. I have clothes to wash, I paid money for something that and I want to be able to use it. Unfortunately, there's nothing I can do about it tonight, but in the morning, I'll be on the phone with the Nationawide Appliance, and I'm going to tell them, if they cannot get me a dryer by Saturday morning, I want my money back and I'm going somewhere else. I'm not going to wait another two weeks for something I should have gotten last week. So, I think I'm through venting for the moment.
   Anyways, among the many things I have picked up lately, I decided to try my hand at cake decorating again. The cake came out ok, definitely not my favorite, and I can definitely improve a lot, but it's not the worst. Now, all you Gator Haters, don't think I've switched teams, I'm still a true Gator fan, but I was making this cake for a special person, and to make her truly happy...I had to what she asked. :)
     The Spear, looks nothing like I wanted it to, but that's ok, it will get better. The "F" is also not my favorite, but I'm getting there. This is the first time I've used a lot of icing to decorate, and for the most part, it looks good. Some spots look awful, but of course, more practice will make it better. Now I have to figure out what to do with this thing, but my husband isn't going to let it stay in the house for too long. It took all I could do for to convince him to let me make it. Haha.
      Well, I guess I'm off to enjoy some quiet time. I've got to print the music for tomorrow's Alumni Game and I'm going to finish watching Greys. I might clip and organize my coupons and crochet some, but I'm mainly going to be lazy and rest. It's so nice when both Maddison and Chris are sleeping. I love our time together and I cherish every moment, but once in a while, it's nice to have some quiet time. I hope you call have a good night. :)

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Today is going to be a crazy busy today filled with lots of cleaning, and ending with a photo session. I have been neglecting my house lately, and it's showing badly.  It doesn't help that I have all this craft and seasonal stuff every where! I have to get it organized, because it is driving me crazy. There is stuff EVERYWHERE! Blah. Anyways, besides cleaning, I have to get everything together for our pictures, make sure Maddison has a nap so she's not grumpy, send Chris out to Camp Blanding to get my shirt for pictures....(don't know why we haven't already done this....), bake a cake, and hopefully make some Scentsy Samples. Like I said, crazy busy day. So, really I shouldn't be here on the computer, but here I sit. I'm sure I'll get it all done, I always do.  I'm sure excited about out pictures though. It's been about a year since we've had our pictures done, and it's definitely time. We've found a great photographer, who is a wonderful person, and her pictures and prices are awesome. We're taking the chance to get some family photo's done with Chris in his uniform. I've always wanted to get them done, but just haven't had the chance. I am so anxious...we haven't even taken the pictures yet, but I can't wait to see the end result.
    I do have to say, I am a little..well a lot frustrated with the place where we bought our dryer. I've the thing a week and haven't used it yet. Don't know what the issue is, but we called last Wednesday and told the lady what was going on and that we need the tech to come out. She said ok, he'll be there Friday. Well, the tech didn't show up. Chris called again yesterday, the guy said he's not sure what happened or why the tech didn't show up, but he set it up so the tech would show up today. I get up this morning and have a voicemail saying the van for the tech is broke down, and he won't be able to get out here until Thursday!'s very frustrating. I really need to wash clothes, and it would be nice to use the dryer that we just bought. I sure hope they show up on Thursday, because I will not be a happy person if they don't.
On to a lighter note, I have become a crafty person...thanks to Pinterest. Which, if you aren't on the site, you really should be. It's great. They have everything. Anyways, I am in the process of making a ribbon wreath. So far it's looking good...I  ran out of ribbon, so I have to go buy some more so I can finish it up. I tried the canvas and glue thing, but it didn't turn out that great. I'm going to try it again and see if I can make it better. I'm going to get a sewing machine or have mom fix mine so maybe I can make some pillow case dresses, and such. I'm still crocheting, I'm actually working on a scarf and beanie set, that is really pretty, but it's taking me forever to get it done. Lol. I really want to learn to crochet some different things, I have lot's of yarn, just have to find the time to learn. I'm really looking forward to making some more wreaths as well. I like being creative, it just takes me a while to get there.
Well, I guess I need to get started on this house. We're still praying for a few things, and thanking God for what we have. I am a very blessed person. A wonderful family, great friends and much much more. :)

Friday, October 21, 2011

I'm a Slacker.

    I've totally been slacking on my blog post. One, because things have been crazy, and two, I just haven't taken the time out to do it. Anyways, lots has been going on around here. Thankfully, Maddison is almost fully over her ear infections. It's awful watching her hurt and be miserable. I hate it when she's sick. Nothing makes her feel better, she can't exactly tell me what's wrong and she isn't able to get comfortable. It all started with a runny nose, and then just got worse. Thankfully, the doctor was able to see her right away and we were able to her started on some antibiotics before it got too bad. I'm proud of her though. She's been in a fairly good mood through it all and has taken her medicine really well. We've went from having to use a syringe to her drinking it out of the medicine cup all on her own. I just can't believe how much she has grown. She's definitely an independent little girl, and stubborn as ever, but she makes me proud.  I'm glad the infections are just about gone and she's back to being my happy little girl full of smiles.
   I said I would blog about my weight loss in my next blog...but really there's nothing to say. I'm kind of holding out at the 10lbs down mark. It's kind of depressing, but I know it's my fault. I've not been as disciplined about what I"m eating, and I haven't been active at all.  I don't want to make excuses, but I haven't been sleeping well. Which could possibly be a side effect of the medicine. Thankfully, I slept well last night and have committed to getting my house back in shape and doing Zumba on the Wii or the Wii fit. Just something to get me active for a little bit. I'm going to start getting back to my healthy eating as well. I'm kind of limited on what I can eat right now, so I got bored right away with everything that I was eating...and's kind of boring too. Thank goodness there's a little thing called Crystal Light. I'm determined though to get this weight off. I've lost ten pounds, I can do this!
      Things are going wonderful in our life though, things could be better, and it's been a little crazy, but Chris and I are definitely blessed. Sometimes our marriage is hard, and we argue, and just can't seem to find an even ground, but lately things have been good. I'm kind of bummed that it's drill weekend, because that means he's gone before we get up, and usually doesn't get home until around 7. And then, Sunday, he'll go to drill, come home sleep, and get up to be at work at midnight. It's stressful and tiring, but I'm thankful he's working, and I'm thankful he's a Soldier. He makes me proud, and when he comes in at 8 am Tuesday, he doesn't have to leave again until Thursday at 11:30. :) That makes for plenty of time for us to be together. I'm still praying that God will send another job his way, or least allow a shift change to open up. I think God is teaching me patience. I'm not a patient person at all, but I'm learning to be one. I'm learning to just let go, let God, and trust his timing. It's not always easy, but I know as my God, He is doing things that are going to work out the best for me.
      It's that time again! Cool weather, hoodies and jeans, hot chocolate, fires and s'mores, lots of candy and good food, family time, presents and all things wonderful! I'm not a fan of the all. I despise it, but I love all that it brings with it. Chris and I are on the ball this year! We've already bought Christmas gifts! I have three gifts for Chris, I have stocking stuffers for most of the family, and we've bought most of Maddison's gifts already. Well, it's on layaway, but we have it. :) It feels so good to be ahead of the game, and to have things already done. There's still quite a bit to get, but I don't feel so rushed to get it all done. My issue will be keeping it all together until Christmas! Lol. Some people think I'm crazy for already getting things, but that's ok, one day, they will learn....maybe. I'm super excited about the things we've picked for Maddison and I cannot wait til we can give them to her. I can't believe it's her third Christmas. Time is flying by and I'm trying to enjoy every single minute of it.
       Well, I guess I better get off here, and get cleaning, I have a lot to do before Chris gets home and before the baby shower tonight. I completely forgot about it, so I have to get all my cleaning done while Maddison naps so that way when she gets up, we can run to the store get the gift and then make home to see Chris for minute (hopefully) and then head to the shower. I hope you all have a wonderful day. Remember to let go and let God, because He will see your through it.

Sunday, October 9, 2011

A Little Thing Called Love.

I'm not sure where to start. I guess I'll start with my's been three years! We've made it three years! In my generation and in this day and time, and for my age group, a marriage lasting three years is something to celebrate! When I made my commitment to Chris, I made it forever. I see marriage as a sacred thing, and it's to be taking seriously and with children especially important for two people to work on things and try their absolute best to make it work. Many people don't view marriage that way anymore, and sad how high divorce rates are. Now, I'm not in everyone's relationships, I don't know what goes on, or how things are, but I can tell you, things haven't been that easy for us. We started out young, with a baby on the way, we were renting from my parents, and all we owned was what was in our bedrooms from high school. A lot of that is still the same, but we're in a much better place. :) We went through a deployment. And, if you've never been through one, I'm telling you, that is a test in itself. The stress of the situation is indescribable. Emotions run high, you never know what's going, you feel helpless, and it's rough. But, we made. We struggled with no jobs, and no income with baby. We went through a PT test...and let me tell ya, that stupid test caused SO many arguments between, it was awful. We've never argued over something as much as we did that PT test. And of course, we've been through just the regular every day rifts that any and every couple faces. In the last three years, there's been many tears, a few goodbyes, lots of love, lots of laughter, lots of smile and lots of kisses. When things get rough, when I feel like giving up, I give it to God, and then I think back to when I first met Chris. I remember how I felt being around him, how he made me his world, and I remember ALL the reasons why I fell in love with him in the first place. He's still that person. He's still that person that made me feel on top of the world. He has changed of course, he's matured in ways, and sees things differently, but he's still Chris, the good looking Solider that drives a charger that sweep me off my feet and never put me down. I can't speak for him, but he still makes me beautiful, he makes me feel important, and when things just aren't going my way, he's there telling me it's going to ok. I know without a doubt he loves me. I can be hard to live with, I can be grouchy and irritable and frustrating, and yet he's still here loving me like he always has. No, things haven't always been easy, and at some points we've only had each other, but it's worth.
     Now, I haven't been married that long, and I'm sure you can find someone who can give you some better advice on a happy marriage, but this is what I've learned so far. When it comes to your spouse, tell them every day that you love them. Let them know that they are wonderful, show that they are wonderful. Husbands, be sure to tell your wife she's beautiful. It may not seem like much, but just hearing that, even if we disagree, makes a world of difference. Be sure to let her know that you appreciate what she does as well. When she accomplishes something, tell her your proud of her. The same thing goes for you wives, tell your husbands he looking good every now and then. Tell him thank you for going to work to provide for you. When he takes you to dinner, a simple "thank you" will do. Be sure, to take time for just the two of you. You need that time. It makes a huge difference. Some times it's not always easy. Finances may not be right, you have children's schedules you have to work around, but you need to make time for it. Even if it's just a movie night at home with all your favorite junk foods, and some sparkling grape juice. Do it, trust me, you'll love the time together. Most importantly though, keep God in the center of your relationship. Keep Him first. Without God, I'll tell you, we wouldn't be where we are. Sister Dean always says, when he does something that makes me mad, I just give it to God, because God can get him better than I ever could. I love that saying. It's one that has stuck with me, and I try always to calm down, pray about the situation and talk about when emotions aren't so high and after we've both had an opportunity to think it over. God can make anything happen and if you just let him take control of your relationship, everything will work out. It still won't be easy, but it will be a lot better! Then when you do have an argument, make up quickly. Even if that means you have to swallow your pride and say your sorry. It's not about who's right or wrong, it's about making compromises. And life is WAY too short to angry all the time.
   All in all, I just try to make Chris happy, and he does the same for me. Sometimes we don't always meet in the middle, but over the last three years we've overcome every obstacle that has come our way, and now we're celebrating it, and for the next year, I'm going to strive to love a little deeper and try a little hard to make Chris that happiest he can be. Sometimes I can't control, but I'm going to give me all at what I can control. He's my love, and there's nothing I wouldn't do for him. I love you, Baby.

    As a little side note, I want to thank both of our parents for setting wonderful examples for us. I watched my parents go through hard times, and I still do, but through it all, they never quit loving each other. My mom taught me how to take care of my husband, how to clean the house, and cook, and how even when he makes me mad, to stand by his side, and to sometimes just over look things. My dad showed me how a man is supposed to treat a woman. He loves my mom like no other. Now for my in laws, I haven't always been there, but I see where they were three years ago, where they are now, and what they're going through. They love each other just the same as well, and being married to Chris, I know he learned a lot about being a good husband from his daddy. His momma showed him how a mom should mother her children and love her husband. Next year, both of our parents will be celebrating 25 years, and I'm so proud and happy for both of them.

Friday, October 7, 2011

I didn't think finding a Hotel would be so Difficult!

Oh my goodness, I did not know trying to find a hotel would be so difficult! Lol. With our anniversary get away coming up quick, we were looking at hotels...we've been looking at them for a couple weeks now, and just decided tonight on where we would stay...we leave Sunday! And, of course, this decision didn't come easy. We talked, debated, and picked through a ton of hotels. We want something nice, because it's our anniversary, but it has to be within our budget...UGH! Finally we agreed to stay at the Holiday Inn Resort, The Castle. It's a beautiful place with great service, and we've stayed there before. Their rooms are unbelievable and with a pool and a jacuzzi, you can't go wrong. Now, I can't wait for Sunday to get here! Church and then we're off to Orlando! .....I still have to pack. I am the procrastination  queen. It's ridiculous. I know that I shouldn't wait til the last minute, that every time I do I end up stressing and forgetting something. :/ I guess I just have to make a list, check and it twice and deal without whatever is left behind.
   Even though I beyond excited about getting away, I'm going to miss my baby girl! She'll be with her Mare-ma, and Little, and I know she'll be well taken care of, but I still miss her. I pray that maybe this time she will sleep a little better. I don't know why, but she just has issues sleeping at other places. The only other place she sleeps good at is my moms. I think it's because we lived there, and she sleeps in the same room she always has when she stays. It's the only thing that I can think of. When we go on trips, we REALLY have to wear her out to get her to sleep. I'm going to try to make a little easier for Mare-ma, and I'm going to leave her my house key, so maybe if she doesn't sleep, they can stop by and both of them can catch a little nap. I know it's rough on both of them with no sleep, but I know they both love being with each other, sleeplessness and all. :)
    Well, I am falling asleep and I don't have much more to say, so I'm going to go watch rerun's of Friends and get some rest. Oh and by the way, I've lost four pounds! I'll blog more about my lifestyle change tomorrow.  Until next time, Goodnight...xoxox

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Can I really do this? Yes...yes I can.

It's been a few days since I last posted, but I have been a busy woman. Not only does a 2 year old require most of my attention, I've been trying to learn to crochet. :) It's been frustrating to say the least, but I'm getting there. I started out trying to learn the "granny" square, but my squares were round...haha. So, I put that down for now, and chose to work on a scarf.'s ok, not the greatest but for the first one I ever made, it's not awful...I'm not finished yet, but I'm hoping to be down with it tomorrow. Here's a picture of where I'm at.I sure hope and pray that it starts looking better....
    So, I went to the weight loss clinic for the first time the other day. It was wonderful. I didn't think I was going to enjoy it as much as I did. But, I learned some awesome information, and it really motivated me. It helps that my regular physician is the one taking care of my at the clinic too. :) She is absolutely wonderful. Her assistant, was great as well. So, they put me on a NO carb diet...OH MY GOODNESS! It's been hard, but I have made it through the first two days. Right now, I am not supposed to eat any carbs, no fruit, so sweet tea, nothing but veggies and meat, peanut butter, protein shakes, and nuts....oh my. It's hard fixing breakfast, and only giving toast to Chris and Maddison, or making a sandwich, and not being able to have the bread. Ugh, but it's totally worth it! After only one day of taking the medicine and follow the "lifestyle" change, I lost TWO pounds! It was great getting on scale and seeing that I lost two pounds. I was soo excited! I really can't wait to get to my goal weight. I'm determined to get healthy for Maddison, Chris and myself. It's definitely a challenge, but I'm going to do it. It's not just a diet, it's a lifestyle. And we're getting Maddison on it too. We're using whole grain bread, whole grain rice and pasta, apples and peanut butter as snacks and lots of fresh veggies. It's a change, for all of us, but it will be worth it. I know that if we get Maddison eating healthy now, she won't struggle with it later, she won't have the issues that we are dealing with now. I want the best for her, and this is best. Don't get me wrong we will drink sweet drinks, and have a brownie occasionally, because it's life and we need to live it, but it's better living healthy. Please pray for me as we take this journey.
   Overall, things are going pretty good for us. Things could definitely be better, but I'm thankful for what I have. God is good! I'm super excited about going to Orlando for our anniversary! It's going to be a nice get away to celebrate the three years we have been together. They've been hard, they've been trying, there's been lots of tears and lots of smiles, but no matter what it is we go through, I'm glad Chris is the one that is by my side. He just makes everything ok. He doesn't always have the answer I'm looking for, but he always says, just pray about it. He knows how to make laugh when I feel like crying, and when I'm frustrated and fussing at him, he's still the same. He loves me unconditionally, as I do him. He's a wonderful father, and I'm glad to call him my husband, my soldier and the love of my life. <3
Well, I'm going to get off here, and finish working on my scarf, and then get some rest. I hope you have a wonderful night and until next time...xoxox

Saturday, October 1, 2011

It's that time of year!

    Wow...what a disappointing loss for my team the Gators! It was a rough game...and I'm kind of sad. Lol. Good thing is, it's just a game and they're still my team. :)
     On a better note, I had a really productive day. I'm so proud of myself. I managed to get my house clean! Haha. If you don't know, that is a chore in itself for me. I just have such a hard time keeping up with it, but I'm getting better. So far, I have kept Maddison's room clean for a week! Which is wonderful, because her room went from you can't see the floor, to everything is in it's place. I've just made it a point to pick up her room after nap time and before she goes to bed at night. So far, it has worked. Now, if I can just convince her to keep her toys in her room. I can't tell you have many armfuls of toys I take back to her room all throughout the day. I mean she has them from her room all the way into my bathroom. I'm just like have a bedroom. Lol I love it though, and it's all part of being a Mommy. Anyways, I just have to mop, wash up a couple loads of clothes, and pick up my room, and the house will be spotless. I love it, I love a clean house. I love coming home where there is nothing to be done.
    Sooo it's that time of year! I am loving the temperatures. The nice beautiful days, and the cool temperatures at night! The weather outside is making my Scentsy warmers even better! Now it smells like fall inside, and feels like fall outside! I wish we could have had a fire was perfect for it, but Chris had to work, which is ok, I'm glad he has a job. (Still praying for another opportunity.) I'm so excited for Thanksgiving, for the football, for family time, for Christmas shopping, and my birthday! :p It's just the best time of year, and I'm so glad that again, my entire family is in the state of Florida for it all! I have soo much to be thankful for! I am very undeserving of all the blessing I've had/have, but I am SO very thankful for them. I do think about the families that aren't together though. I think about those who live far away from their families, I think those who are going through the first holiday season after a loved one has passed, I think about those families who sit at the table with one person missing, because that person is overseas fighting for our freedom. I think about those families who have an empty seat where their Soldier will never sit again because he/she lost their life protecting what we believe. It makes my heart sad, and I'm tearing up just thinking about it. I pray that God fills that void, that He gives the strength to make it through. I appreciate the sacrifices the of the Soldier and the family. Where would we be without those brave men and women. I know some don't agree with the war and you want them all home...but you don't have to support the war to support the Soldiers. When you put them down, when you say they are evil, you are using the very freedom that they are protecting. I want my Soldier home with me, I want the Soldiers home to be with their families, but I'm thankful they are doing something I don't have the courage to do, I'm thankful that the war is across the world and not in my back yard, I'm thankful that they are keeping my country safe for my family. I'm thankful for all of that! I have a soft spot for service men, and I don't think you can find someone more patriotic or more thankful than me. I pray that one day, people will realize what they are doing when they bad mouth our Soldiers. Be thankful for them, and support them. Send them a care package or just a note to tell them you appreciate what they're doing. You just don't know what that means to them. *Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you. Jesus Chris and the American Soldier. One died for you soul; the other your freedom.*
   Well, I'm calling it a night, church in the morning! Goodnight! xoxo


Friday, September 30, 2011

Are you ready?

What a crazy week it has been! It's been tiring trying to adjust to Chris going back to night shift. It's awful, and I am really praying that God will open up some more job opportunities for him. I'm glad he's sticking with it though. It's hard, and he doesn't get to see us much, it's hard for us to do a lot as a family, but I'm doing my best to be that encouraging wife that he needs. I'm thankful that he is being responsible and sticking it out for us. I hate that he misses out on the Gator games or the afternoon tv time with Maddison, and dinner as a family. He misses Sunday night church as well, and I know he doesn't like that. It's the little things that are most important to us a family, and I'm just praying that God continues to give us the strength and the encouragement to get through. I'm very thankful he has a job though. I'm thankful that the job provides enough for me to be able to stay home, I'm thankful that he works in a facility that isn't as bad as some of the others, and I'm thankful that they hired him on. Once again, I'm trying to focus on the blessings in the trial. :)
      On a happier note, we took a quick little trip to the beach! I felt bad because we hadn't taken Maddison, and we needed a little family get away. It was nice too. We when got there we went down to the beach for a little bit, but then spend most of our time in the pool...or pools, I should say. The outdoor pool was nice, it had a huge curvy water slide. At first, I was completely nervous and worried about Maddison going down the slide. So, to help ease my worries, Chris asked the lady if she thought Maddison was old enough to go the slide, if it was safe for her. The lady said, yes, so we gave it a shot. She LOVED it. My little dare devil tried wanted to go again and again. The time she went down with momma, was a little scary though. Some how, I managed to always go faster down the slide than Chris, so both me and Maddison, ended up under the water. I knew I had ahold of her and she wasn't under for more than just a second....but it scared me. She a coughed a little, caught her breath, and said "again"! Lol. Needless to say, after that she just went down with daddy. We enjoyed the time together, and Maddison is getting to be a great swimmer. I love hearing her say "kick your feet, kick your feet". She is growing so much, and it's crazy how smart she is. :) Anyways, our hotel was very affordable for our budget, and we had a great room! We had a wonderful balcony that had a beach view. I've never seen the sun rise at the beach, so I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to see such a beautiful thing. Well, I was reminded why I've never seen the sunrise at the beach....I don't get our of bed that early. :p I tried to wake up, but it just did not work, so I have yet to see the sunrise over the beach....Lol We tried to enjoy the beach a little before we left to come home, but it was disastrous! Maddison is not a beach baby, and I told Chris not to be surprised it I never wanted to go back. All she did was cry...she didn't want to sit in the sand, she didn't want the water to touch her sand toys, she didn't want her daddy touching the sand toys....she just did not want any part of it. I tried being patient, I didn't get frustrated, i sat with her, showed her how to build a sand castle, held hand while we stood in the water....but all she did was pitch a fit the whole time. Finally I was done...I took her to the car, put a pull up on her, and said we're going home. I was over it. I'm not that big of a beach person to begin with, and that situation did not help.( I just don't like that sand, the stickiness of the water, the rough waves..I'm just not a fan of it.) After we left and she was snoozing peacefully in the back, I changed my mind and said I definitely want to take her back...but not for a while. And I'm taking her Nana, or Marema with me. Mom said just to give her some time, and she should be ok with it, but if she doesn't want to go get all sandy and sticky...I'm good with that too. I'll just take her to the lake. :)
    Being at the beach, made me want to get in shape...more than I already do. I really want a baby, in the very near future, but I also want to be healthy. I want to be in shape, and I want to stay in shape. I have to take care of myself so I can take care of my husband and children. I have to be healthy, so I can raise my children to be healthy and I have to show them that they have to take care of themselves. So, my first step is getting some help. I'm going to start going to the weight loss clinic, and the gym. Ugh, the gym. I dread it, but hopefully with help from the clinic, I'll have the energy to go, and then hopefully I'll develop a love for the gym. I'm tired of being tired and unhappy. My weight has had a huge impact on my life, and my marriage and my relationship with Maddison, and I'm tired of it. I've let it run my life for long enough. I want to be happy and confident in myself. Thankfully, my parents, in laws and husband support me 100%, and I know I can do this. It's going to take hard work, and a change in my lifestyle along with a lot of prayer, but I'm ready for the challenge. I'll be sure to keep you updated as well, and I'll be sure to share my struggles and victories with you. I hope that one day someone will read my blog and be encouraged to take the steps to get healthy as well.
    Well, being that it's midnight, I better get some sleep. I hope you enjoy the pictures. The first one is self-explanatory, the second one is the view from our room, and the third is a picture of Chris and Maddison on the curvy slide....I love how she's covering her eyes! :) Goodnight.

Monday, September 26, 2011

Seeing the Blessings

I've been slacking on my blog post...but I have really enjoyed the time with my family. I can't tell you how wonderful it is having my family complete again. It was only two weeks, but it felt like forever. I love the feeling of getting to be with each other after being apart. It's wonderful, and each time he leaves and comes back, we're a lot closer than we were before. It's no fun at all being separated, for whatever the reason may be, but I also see the blessing in the situation. :)

Maddison is loving her daddy being home. She has been in heaven, and so has he. I love watching the two of them together. They make me heart smile. It's a bond, and a love I can't explain, but it's definitely something wonderful. She absolutely adores her daddy, and there's nothing he wouldn't do for her. The two of them LOVE watching Spongebob, they can sit on the couch for thirty minutes and laugh and just enjoy each other being there. I can't stand Spongebob, I feel like my brain cells die each time I watch it, but I love to watch them watching it. They look so happy and so content just being with each other.

It was nice spending Saturday with Chris too. I love going shopping with him, and I love it more, when he spoils me. :) We had a wonderful lunch, and just enjoyed the time together. We love Maddison, and would not give her up for the world, but it's nice having "us" time. We need that time together. It allows to learn something new each, and allows us to put the responsibilities of life aside for the moment. I never want us, no matter how crazy life gets, to forget where we started, or to forget why we fell in love with each other. The time alone helps us to grow as a couple, and then we take what we've discussed and apply it our family as a whole. I cherish the weekends when we just run away for the weekend. Things haven't always been easy, but it's so wonderful to get away, and enjoy each other. I encourage you, to take time for just you and your spouse. You don't have to go out of town, you don't have to spend a lot of money, you can stay in for the weekend playing cards or board games, watching movies and just enjoying the company of each other. It will do you some good.

For once, I don't have much else to say. Make your days and your time with your family count, enjoy each other and love each other like there's no tomorrow. Life is too short to be angry and mad. Put God first in your life and everything else will fall into place. Try to be positive and see the blessing even in the hard times.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Loads and Loads of Excitement!

It is 10 minutes til 10 o'clock, I have sooo much to do, and here I am sitting on the computer. Thank goodness the excitement is going to keep me up tonight! Tomorrow, we will be picking up Chris from his two week class! He is now a Pathfinder, and I couldn't be more proud of him! I'm so excited that I will be able to pin him too! I've always see Soldier's wives or significant others pin them when they get a promotion or something, but never thought I would get to do it! When Chris asked, I had tears well up in my eyes. I'm not quite sure why, though. I'm just super proud of him and I cannot wait to see him! I know Maddison is going to be one happy little girl as well. She has certainly missed her daddy. But, before he gets home, I have to clean our room and the bathroom, finish putting away the clothes and vacuum. It doesn't sound like a lot, but you just have no idea of how many clothes I have to put up! It's awful, and my momma would be ashamed lol. I just hope there's something good on t.v. to keep me occupied while I clean. One day, maybe I'll learn to not be such a procrastinator. I don't know where I get the habit from, but it's not a good one.
     Over the past two weeks, I have been stressed, and emotional, but with the grace of God and a phone call from Chris every night, I managed to make it through. I've thought much about future deployments these last few days, and every time I do, I start to cry. I feel like there's no way I'll make it through. Maddison is older now and knows daddy is gone, but doesn't understand why. It's hard to explain it to her too. I know, that when the time comes, I'll manage, as I always do, but it's a scary thought. I just pray that God continues to prepare my family for these times, and continues to give us the strength we need to get through.
    Well, I'm off to put Maddison to bed and to get me cleaning done. I hope you all have a wonderful night! I know I will! :)

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

What is wrong with People?

As a fan of the Doctors and Dr. Phil, I find this lady that was on the show today, CRAZY! She has had at least 100 cosmetic surgeries and see's nothing wrong with it. Her, as an adult getting cosmetic surgery, I have no issue with, but she has allowed her 15 yr old daughter have botox because she is a "professional" dancer and on stage she didn't want to have this problem area on her forehead. She also gave her 7 year old daughter a voucher for a FREE breast augmentation when she turns 18! I feel like she is already telling her daughter, that when you turn 18 you're not going to be perfect. I'm not against plastic surgery, but geez, 7 years old! Are you kidding me! I'm going to raise my daughter, and I'm going to tell her everyday that she's beautiful and wonderful and she's perfectly fine that way she is. I never want her to think she has to have some surgery to make her beautiful.I want her to accept herself as she is, and I want to her love herself, for her. There was another lady on there who puts her child in these pageants. There is nothing wrong with that, but this little girl, is 8 years old. Her mom is cussing at her, makes her get spray tans, puts on tons of make up, and lets her take provocative pictures in these tiny little outfits, is ridiculous! She claimed it was a dance outfit, but the girl was leaning over with behind stuck in the air, with all this make up on, and her hair curled...she certainly did not look like an 8 yr old child. Her mom said she's not sexualizing her daughter, she's just letting her dance and compete in these pageants. My daughter may dance one, take ballet, or tap or something, but never will she look like that or wear something that shows so much. There are WAY too many crazies in this world who would look at her and think awful things, and I'm just not going to allow that happen. I also want my daughter to be young and innocent for as long as possible. You will never hear me cuss at my daughter or tell her she did awful, and that she's boring. I feel so bad for that child. I never want my daughter to be a quitter, but if she doesn't want to be in a pageant, I won't make her. Little girls are not sexy, they are cute, and adorable. They are innocent beings, and that's the way I think things should be. I will teach my daughter that modest is the hottest, and that short shorts, short shirts, or very low cut shirts are not appropriate. I'm so glad that my mom never let me leave the house in something that was no appropriate. I just can't wrap my mind around what people are doing to their children. Please as a mother, take the responsibility and tell your child to put some clothes on.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Just say, I love you

Today, was kind of boring. Maddison and held down the fort and didn't leave the house today. It was actually kind of nice! I really have to get my house together and nice and clean before Friday. We did have a nice little thunderstorm come in. It was kind of scary for a bit, but with prayer, we made it through. It's hard for me sometimes though, because I don't like storms, but I have to be strong and not let Maddison feel my fears. She was so pitiful. When the storm first got bad, I went to check on her and she was laying in bed with the covers over her head. I asked if she was ok, and she said "momma the thunder scares me". :( It was awful. I scooped her and took her to my bed to snuggle with me. We made popcorn, watched a movie and waited for the storm to pass. Thankfully, she is now fast asleep having happy dreams!

As a person that believes there is power pray, I'm asking that you say a special prayer for a friend of mine and her son. He fell while praying and cracked his hip and hasn't been able to walk. The doctors are hoping that it will on its own, but it's heartbreaking for him mom to watch him be in pain and being a boy, he wants to walk, and run and be into everything and right now he can't. I know she and her family would greatly appreciate the prayers. 

On to something happier, we are one day closer to Chris being home, and I can't begin to describe how I feel! He is doing so well in this class, and has really made me proud. I kind of wish Maddison was old enough to realize just how soon he will be home! I know he won't be able to leave her side when he gets home. I was telling my mom the other day, that you would think she would be a momma's girl as much as she is with me, but she is her daddy's shadow. I'm thankful for that though. I believe that a girl needs a strong father figure in her life, and as a daddy's girl myself, I'm glad Chris and Maddison are as close as they are. Don't get me wrong, as a mother I know my role is important and that we need a close relationship too, but we have that.
While on the subject on relationships with parents, let me just say, I know that we don't always get along with our parents. You won't always agree, and you won't always see eye to eye on things, but I feel no matter what, you should do all you can to make sure there is a good relationship there. Our parents do things for us, no one else would even consider doing. They love us unconditionally, and when everyone else turns their backs on us, they will be there, with open arms willing to help us out. So, please, if things aren't good with your parents, if your relationship isn't what it should be, then try to fix it. Give it your best shot. If you haven't spoken to them recently, call them up or send them a text just to tell them you love them. One day, they won't be around and you'll miss, miss the chance to talk to them, or see them, so be sure you let them know how things are, so you don't regret not doing it one day.

Anyways, I did get my Scentsy Facebook page put in order today! There is still a few things that need to be done to it, but it's looking awesome. I had my first giveaway as well! Two ladies won a Scentsy Circle and got to choose the scent! I'm super excited about Scentsy and I booked my first party! I can't wait to get some more samples made and get some catalogs in the mail. Scentsy is wonderful, and I am really working hard to make this business work for me! Say a little pray for me as I take this journey. It will really help my family with the extra income, and I just love working with people and I really enjoy all the scents in warmers!  If you've never heard of Scentsy and would like some more information and samples email me at

For now, I will continue my countdown to Friday, and try to get some sleep. Goodnight

Monday, September 19, 2011

Romans 8:28

It's been a long couple days for me. I am so over this class that Chris is at, and I cannot wait until he gets home. We've been in the process of trying to buy a mobile home, and this place is about to make me go crazy white girl on them. One day we're approved, and the next we're not. It's very frustrating, and I'm upset that they don't have it together. I was so excited and couldn't believe we would have our own home in just a few months. Now, we're back to square one. Don't get me wrong, I'm upset and frustrated, but I know that God has bigger and better for us, and there's a reason this didn't work out, and I know He works things out to our good. Romans 8:28 assures me of this. Thankfully, I have a very patient and encouraging husband who has calmed my anger, and frustration and said, just go get our deposit, and we'll move on. God gave me Chris because He knows I need someone who is laid back, doesn't anger quickly and doesn't stress out. Even half way across the world, just an email from him changes everything. A husband is a life partner who is there through the ups and downs, and I'm so glad Chris is the one by my side. He is truly a blessing and an addition to my life.
     So, I had jury duty for the first time. What craziness! I was not looking forward to it all. I didn't want to go, but I didn't want to deal with the consequences of not going. Turned out, it wasn't as bad as I thought it was. Thankfully, I'm a full time stay at home mom to a two year, so I was excused! I do think being on a jury is important, but there's no way this was the right time for me, and I believe someone out there wanted to be there more than I did. :) I'm thankful I got out early, was able to go buy breakfast and then enjoy the day with my mother in law and daughter.
      It was a good day. I really needed to be at home getting my house in shape, but I enjoyed it. I believe we all did. Maddison seems to have some kind of viral thing. She hasn't been too sick, but is a little pale and is sleeping a lot. I sure hope it passes soon, and that it doesn't get worse before it gets better. She needs to be a healthy little girl on Friday! I can't wait! We are counting down, and I know she cannot wait til her daddy is home. She gets up in the mornings and ask if Daddy is at work. She misses him, and it's heartbreaking at times. I know it's a great thing he's doing, and I know that as a Soldier who is making this a career, there's going to be more time apart, more deployments, and more heartbreaking times where Maddison misses him. It's a sacrifice she's making, but has no control over it. She doesn't understand now, why he's gone, and why he has to leave, but one day she will, and I know she will proud of her daddy. She's going to be a strong young woman one day, and everything she goes through is shaping her into that person she's meant to be. I just hope that we're teaching her the right way, and that she learns to lean on God to get her through everything. She is a remarkable 2 year, and has been the best thing to come into our lives.
     Well, I guess I better get off here, and find something for dinner. Today I felt stressed, relieved and frustrated, but I know it's all going to get better!

Friday, September 16, 2011

To Begin...

This is my second attempt at a blog, and I hope I can keep up with this one better than I did the first one. I just want some place I can vent, share, and reflect on things going on in my life. Right now, things are absolutely crazy. Of course, life is always crazy in some way. Today makes one week that Chris has been at Camp Blanding. It's definitely been a long one, but I'm thankful that God has been with us keeping us safe, and helping Chris with the school. From what I understand, the class is very hard, and both mentally, and physically draining. So far, Chris has done wonderful, and is pushing through. As my husband, I am so proud of him. He is a wonderful husband, father and friend to Maddison and I. We miss him, and cannot wait til this next week is over. Maddison is as adorable and sweet as ever. She definitely has her two year old moments, but she is a wonderful child. I can't believe how big she is getting and how well she is talking. She is a very polite child who almost always says thank you, loves to say the blessing before we eat, and loves going to church. I couldn't have asked for a better daughter. Sometimes, she makes me want to pull my hair out, but what can I say, she acts just like me. :)

All in all, today, this past week has been pretty good. Things are going well, my family is wonderful, and my favorite time of the year is approaching quickly.